Catch the thieves...
A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he'd left the light on in the garden shed, she could see it from the bedroom window. But he said that he hadn't been in the shed that day. He looked himself, and there were people in the shed, stealing things.
He rang the police, but they told him that no one was in his area, so no one was available to catch the thieves. He said, "OK," hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again.
"Hello. I just rang you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed? Well, you don't have to worry about them now, I've just shot them all!"
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to the man: "I thought you said you'd shot them!"
He replied: "I thought YOU said there was no-one available!"